Internet > Ink

          I began furiously writing in my journal, it had been a few days sense I found the time to write without rhyme, or to give time for a second thought, no audience to recognize I missed a dot I write every day but not always without a plot. I write my dreams down every morning, not from my heart but from my mind. A testimony of a recollection from a life lived in another realm. I write this blog, when I feel an inspirational urge to intrigue myself with what I may conceive I surge onto the web and splurge with analytical me. My last writing releases are possibly my most rewarding, consisting of happy how are yous to and fro my friends and family. But when I write in my journal I get a different sense of satisfaction. I release literally everything, without thinking twice of how to delicately lace my words to give you a taste of my nerves. In my journal I don't worry about who will read it and what they may think of me, or how they might detect my tone to be known as anything other than postive, insightful, or interesting. I write about all ends of the spectrum until that infuriating moment when your pen runs out of ink. Which brings me to my blog and its title, Internet wins the longevity award.

               Why I originally was drawn towards my blog was because I wanted to share that I finished another book today. No I didn't read a book in one week. I like to read multiple books within the same time period. Along with a few other novels I had been reading Sentimental Education by Robert Gustave. When I began the journey into these pages it became a cumbersome chore. Embarrassingly enough this is my first classical feat. Written to take place in the mid 1800's this book is full of wits and historical bits. Looking over the last 100 pages genuinely gratified me. Not because I was nearing the end of what began a trechorous path, instead I was enjoying the words that took me there. I even felt a solem undertone when I defeated the last page.
                I can relate this trivial matter to so much more in life. I'm able to take a step back and acknowledge the fact that I may have a short attention span. That I definelty get satisfaction in completion. That my vocabulary is no where near diverse enough for me to converse without sounding arbitrary. That often times I take things for granted until they are no longer a peice of my life. This book which is so beautiful and delicate, every page portraying an era with such vivid expertise, this book I wanted to overcome. To dominate it. To devour it. Then when I felt it slipping away, with every page turning I'm reminded that the end is near. I mourn the end like I'm about to lose a dear friend. This I can acknowledge. The fact is I'm not mourning a great loss. The fact is my emotions aren't involved. This fact allows me to see a great deal more than my relationship with a good book.

Balance- The Underlying Force of Longevity in All Things

A few days ago I began a new balancing exercise. Although I've added to my yoga routine, I am not speaking of physical balance. Instead I'm searching for the equilibrium within.  This unfolding started with me personally relating to each chakra. I compared my issues and attributes at the 7 different levels; from there I thus deciphered my chakras in relation to having excess or deficient energy. 

Exercise: I visualize the first chakra; its position on my physical body and the role it plays in shaping my abstract existence. I watch the waves of energy circle around this point and move up towards my second chakra. I picture each one in equal depths to the first and visualize the waves gravitating upward to each level. From personal diagnosis my excessive chakras are believably chakras two and three, here I emphasize the energy moving up. By releasing energy from these overwhelmed systems I can carry the waves upward to vitalize my deficient chakras. I then do the same exercise in reverse by bringing the energy back down. This continues back and forth until I feel as though I've reached an equal distribution of energy within my system.

         As I was doing this a few times, I began to feel as though I was achieving some sort of equilibrium. My energy was circling the 6th chakra, positioned at my third eye, then syrandipidty struck at its finest. A bird came close enough to my forehead that I could feel the wind from it's wings flapping and sense it's heart fluttering just as fiercely.  Can it just be a coincidence that a bird vocalized next to my pineal gland as my energy was centralized in this area? Sure, but where's the fun in that? One of the main points I've gathered from my readings about growth of the upper chakras, bringing one to a higher level of consciousness, relies on lessons in symbols. There is a great deal of importance in the ability for one to recognize a symbol and decipher it's significants. Everyday we are faced with symbols, visual cues from above, whether we chose to see them depends on the eagerness for growth in the individual. The other day I went off on my own, Kona the resort pitbull, decided to join me. As we spent all afternoon swimming and rock picking I continuously recognized so much understanding between us. Then, while floating on my back, as I began to ponder this realization, two leaves from separate parts of the sky conjoined and fell to the water together. This moment sticks in my mind for the timing was impeccable. The key to finding significance in symbolizism is hidding in your thoughts or actions when this 'coincidence' appears. A few weeks ago I was desperately eager to find feathers. I had just learned how to make dream catchers and my only missing ingredient was feathers. Weeks passed as did my longing to acquire said object. I started focusing my creative energy on coconut rings; I had all the necessary ingredients for its creations. Suddenly feathers started appearing. I came back from a dive, chipper and care-free, when I looked down to see a feather, sitting on the dock, resisting the gusts of wind. Symbols arrive at pivotal points in our life and we must dissolve it's worth as more than mere coincidences.

                  Even this post gave me so much more clarity than I intended. When I began writing a few hours ago it started as venting. Getting my frustrations off my chest; my lack of diving, my dislocated knee, my disagreement with a coworker, my saddened state-of-mind. When I went back and read it all I decided that I do not wish to share my self-pitty with the world. Then I started a new paragraph. Due to lack of proper technology I post from my iPhone, anyone whose written letters on a small 
touchpad may be feeling my pain. Anywho it's hard to follow every function, somehow I pasted an address over my entire post. I was confronted with a clean slate. I started fresh and released what you are reading as soon as it found me. 

Rhythmic Expression, Poetic Possesion 
~ I apologize for my lack of poetic inspiration. All of my creative concentration was released in the above implications.

Medicine of the Mind

                I haven't dove  today. It's a form of meditation I look forward to when I awake. My instructor once said to me he doesn't need to meditate or do yoga, diving  is his mental medicine. When I first heard this I had my doubts. How can you replace the intense clarity that you embrace from bringing your mind to an open space? I still strongly recommend for people to put time aside each day to enter their happy place. However, now I see that diving can provide the euphoric restoration needed to enter a state of peaceful mediation. A big part of meditating comes from focusing on your breathe. When you are under water, breathing from a regulator connected to your air source, the only means of surviving, each breath is on the fore-front of your mind. You breathe in, your lungs expand as they fill with air, your body starts to rise and you near the surface. During the exhale you sink deeper into the depths of the ocean and your mind is miraculously cleared. When I'm diving in caves, fitting through small spaces, nearing the invasive specie I'm about to spear or being followed by guests watching my every movement, buoyancy is one of the most significant signs of professionalism or pure skill; breathe control is the key to successful movement under the sea. This constant attention to ones breathing, in an altered environment where gravity doesn't feel as though it exists, surrounded by life that seems almost alien, is one of the most powerful forms of mediation I've experienced. 

Rhythmic Expression, Poetic Possession

People, places, new sights and faces.
Travel to new gravel let your thoughts unravel. 
Wander with your body and mind at the same time.

As your learn how to live you learn you must give.
Give love, give trust, give hope for tomorrow.
Hope for happy people to coexist without use of a fist.

No needed force to fish, to feed people as we wish.
No sense to drain the supplies, our means to survive.
No abuse of the land, no creatures we have the right to ban.

In time more will understand and offer a helping hand.
The change seems like a volcano were hiking about to erupt.
The difference we make will not be abrupt. 

We can't reach our goal fast but each day is better than the last.
We can't fix our brother, or mother, or any other.
But when your inner light shines bright people tend towards what's right. 

Pandora's Box

                 Today I finished reading my novel. Success! It feels like a milestone completed. When I graduated college (1 yr ago) I slipped out of a regular routine of reading. Now, for myself, I'm a book worm. I have a feeling that most of you reading this aren't impressed; wow Tyler, you read a book! For me this small accomplishment symbolizes much more than a simple read; it symbolizes my ambition, my drive, my potential to push myself to new limits. This book could be a mountain I climbed, a language I learned,  or a house I built. But it's not, not yet. For now it's just a book. A fascinating one at that. I mentioned this in my previous blog but it's worth repeating; the novel is Eastern Body Western Mind by Anodea Judith. I've read all the pages but I've yet to finish my work with the book. There are a few exercises for one whom wishes to find a better balance within. It's not portrayed as a self-help book but it has taken this role in my life. I feel as though I've opened up the Pandora's Box of my soul. By releasing these demons I can decipher their origin and bring clarity to the cause of my actions.

                       I've been feeling the positivity bursting out of me like a shaken up bottle of pop freshly cracked open. I am so thankful to regain the happiness within. I lost it when I broke my heart. Notice how I mention I broke my heart. Before I was even separated from my significant other I was heartbroken. Not for the predicted loss of him but for the fact that I had lost myself. I lost everything I held dear, my independence, my solidarity, my confidence, my self-assurance, and maybe most importantly my overall care-free, happy-go-lucky state of being. I've been down before, but each time I get up I stand stronger.


Rhythmic Expression, Poetic Possession

We write words in an attempt to define our feelings.
I have a hard time literally expressing my emotions.
You may be able to read my happy hopes of humble hedonism;
but does it make your heart skip a beat as you discover my devotions?

I want to wrap my sentences around you like I would my arms;
hugging you with every syllable you sound as you read aloud. 
When distance defines the resistance of our regression we are held together by words.
We tend to chose them more wisely, no slurs or blurs or ders or mumbled nerves. 

Maybe the healthiest relationships are those spent with geographical barriers.
With plenty of space to erase the chaos, the chase, the catty race, we are only left with our words.  
Many say actions reveal our true face, the essence of one they must embrace.
Without actions to describe the one we've prescribed there's no room to lay lies.

The emotions are right here, written for your eyes to read.
Your vision of me is thus conceived. 
You cannot compare it to how I acted last night or what I said in anger this morning. 
You only know the truth you've been lead to believe. 
Is this an illusion or an accurate conclusion? 

What Shines A Light Must First Endure Burning

     

    Subconscious stimulation ~
           I have recently been putting more efforts forth to work the muscle of my third eye. As most muscles work more efficiently when constantly tuned the same can be said for the pineal gland, the spiritual tissue of our minds. It's a tool that can be extremely useful if we know how to tap into the subconscious to  achieve an understanding of the archetypal framework of our inner-workings. I've been getting closer to clairvoyance by daily meditation in multiple forms. One of my favorites, simple yet stimulating, applicable for any human, is a thoughtful breathing practice.

EXERCISE: Take full deep breathes, when you breathe out motion the release of your breath with your hands pushing away from your body. As you do this motion imagine the things you wish to dispose of in your life, whether they are thoughts. feelings, actions, people, objects or addictions. When you breathe a slow,full breath, begin to move your extended arms towards your heart, as you breathe in the love, positivity, acceptance, discipline and devotion towards a better self. Now do this over and over again until you have released and obtained what you wish to contain.

 Dissecting Dreams* 

                        The current novel I'm nearing the end of my read is Eastern Body Western Mind by Anodea Judith. I would recommend it to anyone whom is wishing to evaluate the chakra system in relation to themeself for a deeper psychological understanding. The author mentions the importance of recollecting dreams because they are a pure interpretation of ones subconscious integrating with their conscious. By writing down your dreams you can go back and decipher what the symbolism is expressing about yourself. 

EXERCISE: Before you go to bed make the affirmation that you will remember your dream come morning. By acknowledging this desire your cognitive abilities of awakening with a memory will increase. Your conscious can be trained of many things, as well as the ability to recall your dreams. When you wake up stay in the position that you are, if you roll on one side recognize this and roll back to your initial waking position At this time let your mind sit as your dreams may be surfacing. Be sure to write your dreams down immediately. Write them in first person, recalling every color, inanimate object, person, animal, smell, and most importantly feelings provoked. At first you may not remember your dreams, this is not from lack of dreaming, everyone dreams every night. Dreams can be suppressed by alcohol or other drugs that interrupt the cognitive ability of your conscious. 

Rhythmic Expression, Poetic Possession  
There is euphoria in the air and with every breathe it enters my being.

Excitement, enticement, appeal to all that's real. 

To people that talk with meaning. 

Words are powerful, they can be electrical.

Sending energy waves for days.

Leaving an impact on those they attack.

I feel like a sponge that soaks up the spirit of my surroundings. 

In the right light I feel the might, the movement, the love for life

But when it's not so bright I feel the fight and I fight back.

I absorb and I reflect; project the waves that were sent my way. 

It's important for me to choose who I wish to see, who's energy will be with me.

But on an island this choice has been made for me.

It's a challenge and better yet an opportunity for growth.

Every storm waters the seed within.

Tomorrow brings the sun, shinning vibes that are positive. 

I met a backpacker yesterday. 

We talked until tomorrow.

No speaking of sorrow.

Just love, words sent from above. 

I am filled with a lust for life.

Reminded of the beautiful people I may find. 

Their traveling souls fill the holes. 

And again I am completely alone but no longer empty

My First Contribution

                In three days I will be celebrating my two month residency at Turtle Bay Eco Resort in Cayos Cochinos, Honduras. I came here for the same reason most people travel, in search of something. My hunger for travel has existed sense I was capable of dreaming a life beyond the current reality presented. It only took my twenty three years but here I am, in a foreign country, even more magnificently by myself. It's not like I've ever struggled with doing things alone, I've always been proud of my independence. Yet traveling was something I envisioned with a partner, a companion to share things with, to confide in. I graduated college last fall and I could of never predicted that this would be the road I would take. At the time of my final years in school I was consumed by the most beautiful thing that life has to offer, love. I was distracted from my travel mindset, and redirected to the wants, needs, desires, dreams of another. Maybe I needed to go through the pain of discovering love capable of destroying me in order to submerge myself into the world. The synchronicity in my life has lead me this beautiful place; now here I am working as an intern at a dive resort, so close to receiving my Dive Master certification. In one more month my time on this island will have expired, but my traveling will continue as I explore more of Central America.

Rhythmic Expression, Poetic Possession 

Life as I know it-

Eat, dive, dive, eat, dive, eat, sleep repeat.
-But I don't know it, I only attempt to comprehend the abstract perception of life radiating from others. 

From there stories, and their eyes when they relive those moments of fiery dreary teary times taken a toll on their soul.

Or a pull at their heart when they start to reembark on the art of love.

Love. A funny word that has so much meaning yet very little understanding; it yields an abundance of feelings or maybe illusions, they are always unpredictable, but the one, confusion. 

Confusion. 

My mind is in a place of disassociation.

 I've retracted from others, I discovered this today as I tackled my thoughts drifting while watching the lips sifting for a listen by my drone ears, not my eyes. 

I appear fully engaged but I daze into days that never existed.

I return for the end of the moment that wasn't a moment at all but millions of minutes, a millennium of what? Where was I? Where am I going? Where do I want to be? How do I get there?